Everybody's obsessed with being in a relationship, having someone in their lives, and it is the way we are supposed to think, we need a partner because we are human, we thrive on relationships. But what happens when you are in between them?
You cry about losing your ex or cry about not finding a new one. What if there is no crying involved? What if we just appreciate that we don't have to check our schedule whether our partner has something planned when we get an invitation, that we can organize our time however we seem fit, that we can go wherever and do whatever we want to?
I am not saying that it's always a burdain to be in a relationship, and I'm not saying that I didn't use to do all that whining. But right now I am alone, and I am enjoying my freedom, and it is gonna take a hell of a lot effort for a guy to make me give that up. I mean that's the point isn't it? That we feel great about ourselves so when the wrong person comes along we can send them away, and when the right person comes, we can realize that he isn't just a substitute, he is the one who can make our lives better, who can contribute to our lives.
In my surrounding I see a bunch of bad examples, people in relationships that don't give them that extra it should, but they tend to stay in them, because they hate to be alone. I used to be one of those people, I was in a relationship that sucked all the way, just beacuse I couldn't imagine being alone again, so I suppressed every fear and doubt. But when we did break up, it was like a whole new world and opportunites around me, that were banned, because I was with someone. I think there comes a point in everybody's life when we have to realize that those clichés about not being able to find the right person until you don't like to be alone, are true. And I think that point comes when you collect all the wrong guys over and over again. Because they teach you what you don't want and that it is liberating to feel that you are your own boss.
I think in a world where we float on the sea of opportunities people are desperate to find some solid ground, where they don't have to face all the things they miss out on. Because when you are with someone, you think about your future together and everything you do is to contribute to that future, but when you are alone, you have to face the decision whether you choose to live up to your pontential or you just gonna play the safe game and be supposedly happy by being ordinary, instead of being extraordinary. In our world, in our generation these are real problems and people try to hide behind their relationships so they wouldn't have to look in the mirror and see a failure.
For example, if you sit on the couch all day long with your partner watching your favorite serie, you're just a cute couple, chilling together, but if you are alone, sitting on the couch all day long watching your favorit serie you are just a lazy piece of shit, because you could've worked out, cleaned or do a bunch of other more productive stuff.
It didn't used to be like this, in our parents' time they had these borders, they were told that they can work in a few specific fields if they want to be successful, they can go to university, but only in their own country, they were told how far they can go, and there were only a few people who dreamed bigger, but right now, everybody can be and do anything and go anywhere, and I think that these limitless choices freak people out, and that is why they find someone to bulid a life with whether he/she is the right person for them or not, just so they wouldn't have to face missing out on their chances. (also that is why the divorce rate is increasing) And that is the reason they can't enjoy being alone either. So what I'm trying to say is, that if we continue to hide out in our relationships and being desperate about not having one instead of enjoying that we can make anything out of ourselves, we are never gonna be happy, because real happiness comes from being able to look at our lives and say "yep, this is the best I could do, this is what I wanted to achive", and those kinda thoughts don't come from people who settle.
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