I get this feeling every time I’m in a crowd, talking, listening to music, somewhat laughing, talking about how to screw over the government and how to avoid any repercussion of my unpaid bills and taxes, bitching about how our prime minister is a peace of crap because he’d only give us money if we legit worked for it. This is what crowds sound like, this is what they talk about, constantly, without stopping even for a second and actually paying attention to the words that leave their drooling mouth.
I sit there, in silence, gazing at them, platting my theories. What if the root of the problem isn’t our government rather our mindset? I mean, we don’t want to nor pay taxes and we want to be applauded, nevertheless rewarded for that? We keep blaming those people in charge for everything that is wrong with the world, platting our conspiracy theories, drooling like a dog with rabis over each and every one of their decisions. When in fact, we put them there, we are the ones giving them that power, we, the exact same ones that want to rip it out of their hands. Don’t get me wrong, those humanlike aliens, with remarkable resemblance to human beings, are in fact awful, reprehensible, repulsive and fucking fucked up. However, look around, spend only one second of your time examining their contestants. Are they any better? Are they the ones you’d rather see in charge? I do not think so, Susan. You wouldn’t, I wouldn’t. So, practice a little self-reflection, I’ll wait. All the goddamn candidates are in fact corrupt and abominable, we people, the citizens, the members of our societies must wonder, why isn’t there one remotely decent candidate, competing and campaigning in our elections? The answer, in case you haven’t cracked the case yet, is because of us, all of us. We, the citizens of our countries are the ones shaping the public opinion, we are the ones encouraging the bad and oppressing the good people. Isn’t that painfully aggravating? Isn’t that just fucking mind-blowingly, disappointingly simple and devastating?
Now see? I can’t drop that bomb into a dull crowd, I can’t share that with people that, in their free time, are platting the master plan for exploiting the system. They only care about that little flammable, repulsively toxic, green monster in their wallet, ah excuse me, we do not work with cash anymore, due to the super powers’ wishes and the pandemic, let me try that again; they only care about those magical, intangible, suspiciously spendable digits on their bank accounts. We don’t give a shit about the important stuff anymore, we don’t care whether the sky is blue or pink, due to all the heat-trapping gases, or whether the ocean is cold or warm, in fact cold water? ew, I’d rather just bathe my newly pedicured toenails in my hot tub. We care about getting rich without doing the actual work, about our likes on our new slutty post on Instagram, about the fact that we have to stay at home because there is a pandemic, and it is so fucking boring to not having to go anywhere, not that we went anywhere before but now that we are not supposed to it is the thing everybody is just desperate to fucking do. Instead of whining about how monotonous it is to be under lockdown, what if we’d take a fucking second to think about the causes, and I am not talking about the conspiracies, regardless of how big of an enthusiast I am, but the fact that this was bound to happen, because we treat our planet like we treat our exes. We neglected it, we flouted it, we abused and exploited its weaknesses and secrets. It gave us so much, and we just took all of it for granted and now it is back to take its revenge, and honest to God, I can’t blame it. Instead of all I’ve just wrote about, after this blows over, you basic bitches – also referring to the suspiciously ladylike, alleged “gentleman” HUGE AIRQUOTES – will start manufacturing the new and terribly relatable posts, according to all of your peers, about how much it sucks that you can’t work and attend classes not wearing anything but a shirt, and how much better it was not to have to go anywhere, and how frustrating it is that you still haven’t cleaned your curtains during the lockdown but now you have so much on your plate that you don’t even know when will you have the spare time to do so. Yes, you are ridiculously and painfully predictable, and you never cease to prove my points, you never disappoint.
So, tell me, in what way could I drop all this on a basic crowd, or on any crowd for that matter, would anyone even listen to me? Afterall nobody likes to learn about the truth and be faced with their flaws and fallibility. This is what I think about every time, I’m with any group. All the unnecessary chitchat, all the jibber jabber, none of the important stuff. In my heart, I am an underdog, an outcast, I just mastered the art of socialization and deception. Sometimes, it is good for me, I can just switch off and relax without having to pay attention to all those letters that are the elements of all the goddamn bullshit that people are just letting out into the air we breathe, with what we inhale them and accommodate them without our apprehension. I can keep them out, because I am fully aware of what’s at stake here, our future, our children’s future, life as we know it. I don’t want to let all this in, if I get contaminated with all their insanity, how will I look in the mirror tomorrow morning? I don’t think I belong to any of those groups, I am a part of, and yet, I still can’t imagine existing without them. What is it about herd phenomenon that regresses me from leaving? Sometimes I feel like my perfect mate, is only a mirage, produced by my subconscious to shut my depression out. What if everybody is the same and I am the only one with these horrors in her mind? What if I am the one living in conspiracy theories but in mine the villain isn’t the government or the super powers, but the people, my fellow-creatures. Am I the insane deranged one, or is everybody else?
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